Rant: Finally, a letter from the VA about Mom

As some of you are aware, I have been tussling with the VA to get increased Aid & Attendance benefits for my mom.  She served as an officer in the Coast Guard during WWII, and last I heard was getting 30% of the A&A benefits that local male veterans of the same war are getting (could sexism be at work here?).  In Spring 2008 I applied to become her fiduciary (that is, the VA would agree to speak to me instead of Mom about her VA affairs, and pay me her VA benefits) because of Mom's dementia.  I sent them a VA form and a letter from her PCP about her dementia.

Finally, today I got a letter from the VA, and while it made me angry, it also made me laugh.  Attached to it is a form they want Mom to sign.  It says:  "I have considered your proposal to rate me incompetent for VA purposes because of my medical condition.  I agree with your proposal and waive my right to submit evidence and to a personal hearing.  Please take immediate action to find me incompetent and appoint a fiduciary to manage my VA benefits."

If Mom is incompetent, is she competent enough to sign this form?  LOL!  Mom was much more lucid when I saw her today and I think I can get her to sign the form, but I will have to tell her what name to sign, because she doesn't even remember her own name.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad the VA notifies the veteran that someone wants the veteran declared incompetent (maybe there are greedy family members out there trying to steal veterans' benefits).  But if I had gotten this letter a week ago, when Mom was so far out of her head she couldn't even open her eyes, I'd be beside myself right now.

Sorry, I just had to vent about this.

Thanks for listening...

Jean

I hate to say this, but that sounds about par for the course for a government office... having been there, done that for so many years I can say that I guess...

.... and having just gone through a hiring process where the job description said they wanted customer service skills, and they hired someone with HR experience instead of me with my 20+ years of customer service...

Maybe they just don't like us Coasties.... During a lucid period, tell you mother a former Chief deck ape said I love her and Semper Paratus...

Marc,

Chief deck ape! LOL!

I'll definitely tell her that...I can't tell you how many times I heard "Semper Paratus" while I was growing up, and even when Mom is out of her mind, she's able to focus when I say "Coast Guard"!

Where did you serve?

Mom was stationed in New London, CT, Boston, MA, and Brooklyn, NY.

Jean

I was on the west coast the whole time... lots of different jobs, but all Search and Rescue... and a little law enforcement and some buoy work thrown in...

Tell Mom you know a Surfman... she'll know what ya mean ....

Motor Lifeboat Coxswain, Heavy weather qualified... Cape Disappointment schooled ... twice!

Your lovely mama will know all of this I am sure....

When we were feeling ignored, instead of saying Semper Paratus we would say "Simply Forgotus"

I was battling an old Navy salt at a boat show once... he had a recruiting booth there and I was manning the Coast Guards boating safety booth.... anyhoo, he called us the "Draft dodgers yacht club".... I almost split my britches laughing!!

Marc,

Draft Dodgers?!  I don't think so!

Jean

Jean,
I have a good one for you. My dad passed way over 16 years ago and my just passed away in March.
Someone broke into her house and stole the copper piping. My brother filed a claim with homeowners insurance. The same insurance that they never filed a claim with for 36 years.  When he received the check it was made out to BOTH my Dad and Mom with a sticky note attached saying that it HAD to be signed by the person/persons it was made out to or it would be void.
So, my brother called the insurance compamy and said if they were here to sign the check he would gladly have them do it.
We forwarded the check and other info to the lawyer taking care of the estate.
Can you believe it? Instead of saying they weren't going to pay  they send a useless check.

Mary

Hi Jean, when I worked in a nursing home and this situation came up with those that had a diagnosis of dementia, they could not legally sign anything...whomever was in charge of the the resident's affairs would have to sign....a power of atty. for the resident.

You and your mom are still in my prayers.

Alice

Hi Jean

That story is absolutly amazing.  Sounds like the guy who sent the letter should be where your mom is and your mom should be running the VA.

They should be ashamed.

 AMAZING....  ABSOLUTELY AMAZING...   I wonder what committee came up with this procedure.